I got a different wheelchair, which is basically like the one I had except that it tilts back. I was having some pain sitting so this was the solution. Unfortunately, it has made sitting worse. I believe this is because the cushion I'm sitting on is totally worn out and I'm supposed to get a new one. I really hope this helps, but I don't know that it will, nor do I know when I get the cushion. It really sucks, I can't sit for more than a few hours without having to go back to bed. It is very boring and crappy. I feel like I should be sick or something. I just hope I'm not doing any kind of permanent damage to my bottom tissues.

I think I've stopped getting weaker. I hope so. It is terrifying to get weaker and know that this is the way it's going to go. I can imagine what happens in the next step. It's hard not to think about.

Things with my mom seem better. She refuses to go to councelling but we have had some good talks (though not really serious ones).. I haven't totally given up on the idea of seeing someone together but I really don't want to risk her freaking out on me again right now.

Things are going great with Ian and he has been very supportive through this having to spend more time in bed and the ensuing depression. I feel like everything is going wrong.

Speaking of going wrong, my computer seems to be slowing down and giving up. It's almost three and a half years old so it's time to get a new baby. Unfortunately, I have less than zero money. We are going to try formatting it to give it some more life but I'm not sure how long it plans to last. I think when the expansion for WoW comes out I will really need a new one. I just don't think I'll have the money. *sigh* Why do so many things have to do with money? Being poor is crappy. Being poor and wanting to do everything while I still can is more crappy. I feel selfish. I wonder how long I'll be able to enjoy the things I like now and if I'll be able to do enough of them before it's not possible to do them or enjoy them anymore.

The van is back, or will be in a couple hours.

I keep putting off doing things that are not hard to do. I feel like I am very behind in reading.

I ripped out the afghan I was making and started a different one. Apparently I suck because I can't get that right either.

.. of danger and serial killers and random dudes with knives and torture and what the fuck is going on with my brain.

I hope I get my van back today. It was in the shop due to someone rear-ending it. I was not in it at the time.

Six month anniversary with Ian coming up. Where does the time go?