I haven't written here mostly because I just haven't felt like talking about it.

We have a new goal of getting me to live on my own. My parents and I went to a meeting with a woman and her daughter who had done it. She has a house and a live in caregiver. It can take a few years to get everything together, however. First of all the live in caregiver will probably come from a place like the Philippines. Apparently Canadians are just not reliable enough. Big shock there. Then we have to find a house that can be renovated to be wheelchair accessible. One that is big enough for me to get around in. I'm not looking for endless space, but I want to be able to maneuver around in it. So, I'm not sure how long it will take or how things will turn it. It's exciting but scary. I don't really dare get my hopes up as I have been disappointed so many times.

The guy I mentioned in a previous entry has disappeared on me again. He's done this a few times, gone away on business or for a family emergency and just not said anything. It's been a few weeks now. Not that I'm worried. It just makes me realize this guy, no matter how much I like him or he likes me, is not really going to be around for me. Not the relationship I want anyway, which is fairly depressing.

The battery that connects to my ventilator and allows me to move about the house and actually leave the house is not working. We ordered one from the respiratory company in town that takes care of these things, but apparently when Mom phoned to see how long it would be the fucker had forgotten to order it. This is not the first time this guy has done something ridiculously stupid like this and it's very frustrating. So we are not sure if I'll have a new battery for when my parents go on holidays. I have to say I dislike being on a leash.

My parents are going camping for the last 2 weeks in June. I was going to have to go to Parkridge, but one of the caregivers took over the task of organizing so that we could work it out that I could stay home. I hate Parkridge, which I'm sure you are all aware of. I realized that the place scares the shit out of me. Not knowing what is going to happen next, and if they are gong to really hurt me or kill me this time. The bad food and the boredom I could deal with. It's the caregivers that I just can't deal with.


Reading:

Seduced by Moonlight by Laurell K. Hamilton


Pharmako/Poeia: Plant Powers, Poisons, and Herbcraft by Dale Pendell


There's a recent pic of me. It was taken before going out for supper with a current caregiver, a former caregiver from Home Care and my sister. The supper was a blast.

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